What exactly is Muskrat Love?

I was laying in bed and having a discussion about the things I remember from being a kid and how ridiculous some of the things that were called 'entertainment' were. Number one was 'Who didn't know that Scooby and Shaggy were dope heads? Seriously' The Mystery Van? You know it was a big hippy hang-out and that Shaggy was a beatnik and that scooby snacks were probably laced with mary jane. No wonder the danged dog had the munchies. And why was Daphne a red head when she was clearly blonde? And why did Freddie or Fred wear a Windsor knot or scarf? And why was Velma the smartest, but nerdiest lesbian on cartoons? As an innocent child of the 70's, what did I know except that I loved the fact that every crook they caught was someone disguised as someone else. The rubber masks were AMAZING on that show! Awesome.

My little valentine next to me starts laughing and asking me about television shows I remember as a kid. I start naming ones off: The Hardy Boys and Nancy Drew, The Brady Bunch, Pink Panther, Felix the Cat (you'll laugh so hard your sides will ache, your heart will go pitter pat?). I hated Fred Flintstone because he treated Wilma like crap (much like his counterpart Jackie Gleason). I hated Captain Caveman and I never did quite figure out why Wiley Coyote kept buying from Acme company when none of their crap ever worked!

The whole discussion brought us magically from Driving Miss Daisy to Muskrat Love and Captain and Tennille. I rolled over and said, "What does that song even mean," to which I got nothing but laughter and an 'I have no idea'.

I decided to investigate.
Here is what Muskrat Love was to the Captain and his lovely assistant (don't they look like they should be on Love Boat?)



If you want a better understanding, here are the lyrics:

Muskrat, Muskrat, candlelight,
Doing the town and doing it right
In the evening
It's pretty pleasing

Muskrat Suzie
Muskrat Sam
Do the jitterbug
Out in Muskrat land
And they shimmy
Sam is so skinny

[CHORUS]
And they whirl and they twirl
And they tango
Singing and jinging a jango
Floating like the Heavens above
Looks like Muskrat Love

Nibbling on bacon
Chewing on cheese
Sam says to Suzie, honey
Would you please be my Mrs.
Suzie says yes with her kisses.

Now he's tickling her fancy
Rubbing her toes
Muzzle to muzzle, now
Anything goes as they wriggle
Sue starts to giggle

[REPEAT CHORUS 2X}

I'm sorry, but from what I understand of Muskrats - they're basically smelly rats but bigger, and related to Beavers. There are a few questions I have for Captain and Tennille. Was Muskrat a key word to something else?

Watch the video again. Why do Tennille's eyes get REALLY big when she says the word Muskrat, and am I wrong, but isn't her hairstyle a bit phallic in nature (or maybe that's just Freudian thinking)?

Why does the Captain look so bored and why does he roll his eyes. Are the two of them stoned out of their minds on acid? Definitely a psychedelic vibe going on, especially when the two micro-muskrats appear on the screen, rubbing noses and buttocks.

Do Muskrats really make a sound like the Jetson-mobile?

Now that I look back on the whole experience, I think that my childhood was really messed up. The only question I have left is, why did my parents like this song?